Period: You want cookies
Period: You want to fuck
Period: You want to fuck while eating cookies.
Period: Let's be sad about trivial things, shall we?
Period: Kill them.
Period: Kill them too.
Period: Kill them and eat their cookies.
Period: Shhhh it's okay you'll feel better soon.
Period: HAHAHAHAHA NO YOU WON'T FUCK YOU.
cornchipz: awkwardcontent: Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point you were nothing but an asshole. some people never develop beyond this stage
maizonosayaka: STOP RIGHT THERE, TUMBLR TRAVELLER before you reblog that picture of that girl, ask yourself — does she look like she knows someone’s taking the picture of her? — does she look okay with that? if the answer is NO to either, then don’t reblog it because you may be inadvertently supporting creepy behaviour! on your way.
Anonymous asked: Two words: hot damn! Inn and Out is one lucky SOB!
rhiannanag: i don’t go to the thrift shop to be cool i go because i’m poor Value Village had a 50% off sale on Monday. It was like the universe gave me the best birthday gift to make up for the shit year to come.
Holy shit! When did the stupid “gifts” on Facebook become actual gifts you use in real life????
Anonymous asked: Sexy ass, sexy ass hooker heels request still relevant. Real shame that Inn & Out isn't down for cuddling after though.
Sooo… Tumblr doesn’t let me know when I have asks…. And I’m thinking some of these are old but here goes anyways
Anonymous asked: Can we see your sexy-ass hooker-heels and/or you? *drool*
Anonymous asked: You *are* sexy! Have a good day!
Anonymous asked: HBD Winnie! Hope you have some amazing birthday sex ;)
[Me going in for a quick kiss; Inn n out hesitantly returns said kiss]
Me: You seem hesitant...
Inn n out: I'm pretty sure kissing in public violates the terms of our not being an item...
[We had spent literally all night and all morning together]
I am 22. Fuck.
Why was I not allowed to sleep in?
Why are my meds not being 100% reimbursed…?
After the shift at work I had yesterday, I’m gonna be sitting in a therapist’s office in 10 years acting it out with hand puppets…
voldemortsblog: bloodandgutsinhighschool: cleargummibears: santahale: Robert Pattinson wins the “Most Likely To Be A Douchebag But Turned Out To Be A Pretty Cool Guy” Award. Cole Sprouse wins the “Seems To Be A Cool Guy But Turned Out To Be A Douchebag” Award Chris Brown wins the “Most Likely To Be A Douchebag But Turned Out To Be An Even Bigger Douchebag” Award. Leonardo DiCaprio...
Mom fell asleep watching American Idol… Glee is on… I don’t know where the remote is… My ass is comfortable in this chair. I’ve been wanting to stab myself in the ears and eyes for about 13 minutes now…
polaristiel: In Danish we say “der er kommunister i lysthuset” which translates roughly as, “I’m ready for a relationship,” and I think that is just really very meaningful.
No one went to my high school graduation. Why the fuck do I have to go to my Bachelor’s? Jesus…fucking…fuck. *grumble* *grumble*
ghosttownfrown: Your professor will not be happy with you if he says the Stanford Prison Experiment shows human nature and you say it shows the nature of white middle class college-aged boys. Like he will not be happy at all. Depending on the prof. Soci prof? … will laugh. And then promptly move on.
vardaesque: vardaesque: MOM BROUGHT FIVE GUYS HOME IM SO EXCITED OH MY GOD clarification: five guys is a restaurant chain that specializes in gourmet burgers and fries i’m not having an orgy
Has anyone noticed that text posts with proper capitalization and punctuation never get lots of notes? Like you could post the exact same thought, one like this, or one with no punctuation and all lowercase and the lowercase one would get like a hundred notes.
If you were a lemon I would put you on the shelf and cherish you like I cherish...– James Deen in quite possibly the weirdest porno ever (via ch0chalapan0cha)
are we just going to ignore the fact that the king...
vanehwasreal: i mean what what the fuck gustav no stop it gustav please
apprenticenecromage: saying “i dont have time for you” is my favorite insult because i sit at home all day doing nothing, and I still don’t have time for your attitude.
Two things I need from him
Only two fucking things, and I don’t think they’re all that unreasonable. Assurance that he won’t fuck other people. I KNOW he isn’t going out trying to get laid anyways. So why is it that difficult for him to assure me that I don’t have to worry whom he is putting his dick in. Acknowledgement. When asked if we are dating, here are a list of possible answers that...
vaspim: Flirting is so stupid and time consuming. Cut the bullshit do you want to fuck me or not
White rappers always made me uncomfortable for some reason… It’s like, “yo, where’d you get such sick rhymes? In the mean streets of your mom’s garage after school?”